Why does it seem like everyone else has it all together? Why do I struggle to do “all the things” when others make it look so easy and effortless? Their houses are always clean, they are spending the weekends going on day trips or weekend getaways. You see it all over their social media pages they talk about it at work and you wonder “How do they manage to do all that and look so happy” “Why don’t they have ginormous bags under their eyes?” If you ask yourself these questions, know that you are not alone. I’ve routinely asked myself this a million times.
The Struggle
My family is the most important thing in the world to me. Being a good mom and wife has always been my top priority. On top of that, there’s the responsibility of providing for them. Trying to be sure all their needs are met. That means juggling the work and home life balance. (Insert exhaustion)
I dread feeling like if I spend my weekend doing the fun things then there’s not time to get the chores done. So either the fun happens or the chores happen. In return I start my week with anxiety and playing catch up. But who wants to miss out on making the memories with the kids? I mean the reality is, you can’t get their childhood back. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. The thought of that not only breaks my heart, it increases the mom quilt ten fold!
Finding Answers
I knew there had to be a better way. I began asking my friends who seemed to “have it all together” how they did it. The answers varied. But one commonality that seemed to stand out was routines of one sort or another. Was it really that simple?
BTW…Another thing I found out was that they don’t always feel like they “have it all together“ either! The routines they put in place, not only make it easier and they tend to appear more like they have it all together, it frees up so much time. So for those of us who feel like we are somehow less than them, truly we are not. We all share the same struggles some just or better at managing it than others.
The Plan
First and foremost, letting go of the expectation of perfection! There I said it! The expectations we place on ourselves are usually way more than what others expect from us. I mean honestly do you think your kids would rather have a house that resembles a museum, or more of you and your time? There’s a big difference between having a clean house that looks lived in, versus a house that people are afraid to touch anything or enjoy themselves in. Practicing the art of allowing ourselves to let go of perfection is key here.
From here I set out to put some routines in place that were realistic. One of my biggest struggles are mornings. I am not a morning person to say the least. (Just ask my alarm clock who takes a daily beating!) Being able to start out my day on the right foot has made a huge impact moving forward and setting other routines into place.
Routines
I have established a bedtime routine (this has been a lifesaver for my mornings), a laundry routine (system) and am currently putting into place a daily/weekly cleaning routine. I am so optimistic moving forward for less overwhelm, more calm and simply living! I’d love to hear what type of routines you have in place that help to calm your overwhelm?